False Starts

I’ve been tinkering with these on and off for like 13 years now.

 

For whatever reason, you can have such a vivid idea of what you want to portray that you lack the proper words to convey it. In those cases, you end up constantly chasing after something that never feels quite right. That’s the case with this one. I wrote it for the Seasons In Colour stuff (check out the Fireteddy National Library to find it — opens in new window) but it’s never really hit the mark.

 

I’m still not sure it does but figured I’d share it regardless. Enjoy!

 

Drifting with some innocence

In a sea of looming doubt

Was this life still made irrelevant?

From our childhood fears somehow

 

Brought up past each sheltered phrase

As these changes cut too deep

Though I’m not sure how it came to this

With mistakes that all repeat

 

I keep counting the reasons

For each conviction that I’ve tossed aside

You know it used to be so easy

Now it’s hard to find a place to hide, a place to hide

 

Love is a dream that I gave away

It’s destined for  the homeless hearts that pray

For something to exist, now it’s trailing on your lips

 

Everybody knows what I had to do

As the meanings come apart, we can’t follow through

I’ll be lost in the abyss, for a moment such as this

 

Fractured thoughts may come and go

With behaviours frayed and torn

But we never stop to sort them out

In this ever changing storm

 

It doesn’t matter anymore

It doesn’t matter anymore

 

I’m still counting the reasons

For each conviction that I’ve tossed aside

You know it used to be so easy

Now it’s hard to find a place to hide, a place to hide

 

Love is a dream that I gave away

It’s destined for  the homeless hearts that pray

For something to exist, now it’s trailing on your lips

 

Everybody knows what I had to do

As the meanings come apart, we can’t follow through

I’ll be lost in the abyss, for a moment such as this

 

Every lifeline we’ve confused

Beaten down in violet hues

Good intentions once in bloom

I threw a rope, you tied a noose

 

Winter pushes springtime through

But summer nights can’t be exhumed

Drowning in unspoken truths

There’s nothing left for us to do

 

As leaves start catching fire, colours soon contort

While lighting up the pathway to a growing storm

Past this field of breaking waves, now the skyline’s turning grey

 

You brought me to the place where I need to be

I had to get a little bit of gravity

But there’s nothing left to say, as these seasons slip away

 

It’s calling out your name, it’s calling out your name

It’s calling out your name, it’s calling out…

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