Trial Of Errors

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Making it through some major life changes, Trial Of Errors marks a turning point in my development as a writer.

 

My first group of lyrics after going blind, I took a different approach with these. Instead of speeding through the writing process, a considerable amount of time was spent editing everything. where past groupings might have taken a few weeks each to complete, this one took about five months.

 

That also meant a lot of material was written: About 100 ideas were considered until getting whittled down to 50 or so. From there they were chopped to roughly 30 before finally leaving 20 things to choose from. 13 appear here and most of the others are on the leftovers page. (Unfortunately the remaining lyrics were lost at some point so I couldn’t put them in the Fireteddy National Library.)

 

With the grouping itself, my overall goal was to be a lot more straightforward. Metaphors aren’t used without reason this time around, so nothing sticks out like a sore thumb. In many cases, the language used is purposely less abstract too, making it easier to put more emotion at the forefront.

 

My favourites are Another Year, She’s Gonna Fall, Regardless, More Of The Same and Joy. Excluding the first one, they’re probably the most mellow lyrics here. Taking everything as a whole though, Trial Of Errors marks the first time I feel like everything is at least good and serves a purpose.

 

For those interested, you can check out the original version in the Fireteddy National Library. The leftovers I previously mentioned can also be found here.

 

Lyrics Content

 

01. Another Year

02. Loaded

03. She’s Gonna Fall

04. Calm Before The Storm

05. Crash And Burn

06. Fear The Reaper

07. Regardless

08. More Of The Same

09. Misconceptions

10. All This Hate

11. Ashes

12. Moving On

13. Joy

 

Another Year

 

It’s been caving in my brains

Still carving out my heart

I know it’s been explained

But I don’t know where to start

 

Dropped off to the side

No moments to reflect

To watch this love subside

But what would you expect?

 

Another year to waste away

A new disguise to claim

A soul, control, a time to say

It’s really all the same

 

It’s been flirting with my mind

Still straining to connect

I know it’s far behind

A past I can’t reject

 

Lost myself in there

To find there’s no way back

You act like you’re not scared

Forgetting to react

 

Another year to waste away

A new disguise to claim

A soul, control, a time to say

It’s really all the same

 

Another year to waste away

A new disguise to claim

A heart, a start to fall apart

With someone else to blame

I still can’t feel the pain

 

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Loaded

 

Start picking up the pieces

It’s time to let it out

No struggling for the reasons

I’m gonna stand and shout

I’m loaded and I’m ready

No time here to back down

The world keeps getting heavy

But you can leave without a sound

 

It’s time to play a new game, baby

A new game baby, yeah

 

It’s time to play a new game, baby

A new game baby, yeah

 

I’ll grab what I can’t steal

It’s time that I break out

I’ll touch what I can’t feel

It’s time to kill these doubts

I’m loaded and I’m waiting

Waiting for a sign

No more sense in contemplating

Let’s leave the past behind

 

It’s time to play a new game, baby

A new game baby, yeah

 

It’s time to play a new game, baby

A new game baby, yeah

 

Give me love ‘cause I’m loaded

For this beautiful explosion

Give me love ‘cause I’m loaded

For this beautiful explosion

 

Give me love ‘cause I’m loaded

For this beautiful explosion

Give me love ‘cause I’m loaded

‘cause I’m loaded, ‘cause I’m loaded

 

It’s time to play a new game, baby

A new game baby, yeah

 

It’s time we play a new game, baby

A new game baby, yeah

A new game baby, yeah

 

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She’s Gonna Fall

 

She wakes in the morning to start looking for answers

For the questions she struggles to ask

Light pierces her window and feels warm on her body

But she’s cold and forgets it won’t last

 

So she steps through the hallway and climbs into the shower

Water drips and then rolls down her face

It’s like some kind of beautiful metaphor still waiting

To be discovered and put in it’s place

 

She’s been thinking again

She’s gonna fall

 

As she walks to her car, it’s still early morning

She’d cry but she knows there’s no time

So she starts up the engine, puts her car in reverse

Letting on as if everything’s fine

 

Stuck on the highway, surrounded by traffic

She wonders if this ever ends

She craves the attention still given by strangers

For reasons she can’t comprehend

 

She’s been thinking again

She’s gonna fall

 

She says she could drown in a room of her tears

If she started to cry, she’d be crying for years

Refusing to keep what this life’s handed down

Blocking out any sound

 

When she finally gets home, darkness blankets her room

And shadows all fall to the ground

Watching her back as she slips off her clothing

To make sure that there’s no one around

 

In a final release once she’s let her guard down

She starts thinking of things that she’ll miss

The ones she’s called lovers and mothers and fathers

Well none of them go on the list

 

She’s been thinking again

She’s been thinking again

 

She’s been thinking again

When will they call?

 

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Calm Before The Storm

 

Pull your night shades down

Pull them all the way

When they see we’re not around

We’ll drift from day to day

And maybe we’ll come back

If we can start it up again

But baby I’ve lost track

So where do I begin?

 

You kissed me as you cried

And you claimed that you were torn

But I saw it in your eyes

Just the calm before the storm

 

Grab your dispositions

Drown them in a lake

I don’t know my position

But I’ll hold on ’til I break

The first day you’ll be missed

Second day just hate

They’ll sign you on the list

As your rescue comes too late

 

You kissed me as you cried

And you claimed that you were torn

But I saw it in your eyes

Just the calm before the storm

 

Baby I will love you

Then I’ll wanna hate you

When I go to kiss you

That’s when I’ll berate you

Then I’ll go on looking

Until I’ll think it’s something

Push until it kills me

Then I’ll know it’s nothing

 

I’ll stay inside these memories

The ones I’ll learn to mourn

All rushing to the surface

The calm before the storm

Calm before the storm

Calm before the storm,

Calm before the storm

Calm before the storm

 

Our calm before the storm

But it’s not calm anymore…

 

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Crash And Burn

 

You use the world to make your way

Don’t stop to trace your steps

Cheat to live another day

Until there’s nothing left

 

Puzzles almost never solved

All locked inside your head

Tried so hard to find resolve

When it’s loneliness instead

 

But this is how you learn

This is how you learn

 

You get a life to call your own

It’s stranger everyday

While burning all these bridges down

As you drift to fade away

 

So drink and sleep, don’t turn around

Now you don’t need your friends

You’ll have to learn to miss the sounds

With nothing to defend

 

But this is how you learn

It’s time to crash and burn

 

Oh this is how you learn

It’s time to crash and burn

 

You think you’re gonna change the world

But this world’s been changing you

With a hammer from that head of yours

Well you don’t know what to do

You think that you’re so different now

With these odds you’ can’t defy

Still everyone keeps walking out

As you sit there and you cry

 

But It’s hardest to discern

When it’s time to crash and burn

 

Ain’t it hardest to discern?

Now it’s time to crash and burn

 

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Fear The Reaper

 

Silly little baby

Stupid little girl

Think you’re going crazy

Drowning in the world

Drowning in your tears

Drowning in your fears

Fear the reaper baby

Fear the reaper baby

 

Let it all hang out

Let it all unfurl

Drowning in your doubts

Sinking with the pearls

Sinking in the sea

Floating like a feather

Things are getting better

Things are getting better

 

If you look outside your window

You’ll see life’s passed you by

And you know you always win so

You don’t know how to cry

But that’s fine

yeah that’s fine

 

Silly little baby

daddy’s little girl

must be going crazy

poisoned by the world

Everything you asked for

Asking for some love

Never got enough

Never got enough

 

If you look outside your window

You’ll see life’s passed you by

And you know you always win so

You don’t know how to cry

But that’s fine

yeah that’s fine

 

always talking shit

always talking smack

Getting sick of this

Don’t talk back

Really nice to meet ya

little zombie girl

Guess that this’ll teach ya

Guess that this’ll teach ya

 

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Regardless

 

Waking on the lawn on an early autumn morning

The battle lines were drawn but they never saw the warnings

Tell me were we just that dumb? Tell me were we just naive?

Maybe all the love we built had something up it’s sleeve

 

Regardless of what happened, we are standing here

Waiting for a magic trickTo help us re-appear

 

I’m sick and tired of all of that

You can pull a rabbit from your hat

But can you tell us what to believe?

can you tell us what to believe?

 

Waking in the dirt on a dark and muggy evening

Jumping never hurt, but looks can be deceiving

Tell me were we just that wrong? Tell me were we just that slow?

Well maybe all the love we built was never meant to grow

 

Regardless of what happened, we are standing still

The pain left from the fall, now it feeds the winter’s chill

 

They told us all we need is love

But it isn’t what they’re thinking of

So can you tell us what to believe?

Can you tell us what to believe?

 

Laying on the lawn with nothing there to guard us

Regardless, regardless…

 

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More Of The Same

 

I try to talk but I can’t speak

There’s nothing left for me to say

The same old things we all repeat

It doesn’t matter anyway

 

Now it’s time for letting go

Is there time enough for feeling shame?

It’s not a crime to let you know

It’s just a crime to spread the blame

 

When it’s the same damn thing

When it’s the same damn thing

 

I try to cry but I’m not sad

Things go left, go left unsaid

Should I regret the things we had?

All the things my hate’s been fed

 

So if you fall and if you crack

Is love still there to spread it’s wings?

Now you say no turning back

But still you say a lot of things

 

When it’s the same damn thing

When it’s the same damn thing

 

Try to find a way to land

Know yourself and know your place

Map it out and make a plan

Start planning your escape

 

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Misconceptions

 

These holes of misconception

Getting dug up everyday

Got a mind to make perceptions

From the things that people say

Well no one here is perfect

All voices to be heard

With false images asserted

False images and words

 

So tell me how to know

Exactly what they felt

The thoughts left in this mind

With the feelings that we’re dealt

 

All pennies in the well

All pennies in the well

 

I’m only what you think

An image that you own

Keep stepping towards the brink

Then sink down like a stone

I’m villain of the year

For all the things I’ve said

With pressures of the peer

You’ve peered inside my head

 

So tell me how to know

Exactly what they felt

The thoughts left in this mind

With the feelings that we’re dealt

 

All pennies in the well

All pennies in the well

 

I’m exactly what you want

A cartoon image formed

To laugh at and to taunt

With a real self to mourn

 

So tell me how to know

Exactly what they felt

The thoughts left in this mind

With the feelings that we’re dealt

 

All pennies in the well

All pennies in the well

 

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All This Hate

 

All this hate

It fits just great

Can’t concentrate

But that’s okay

 

All this love

It’s up above

Caught with the doves

But that’s okay

 

I signed my life away, I signed my life away

I signed my life away, away…

 

All this hate

Food on my plate

I salivate

But that’s okay

 

All this stress

I’ll get undressed

Then I’ll confess

This price I’ve paid

 

I signed my life away, I signed my life away

I signed my life away, away…

 

This isn’t me, you see, you see

You let it go, you know, you know

 

This isn’t me, you see, you see

Please believe, believe, believe

 

All this hate

It suffocates

It radiates

But that’s okay

 

I signed my life away, I signed my life away…

I signed my life away, away……

 

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Ashes

 

Climbed up from the ashes

To find that you weren’t there

No answers or reactions

A face that only stares

 

But that’s fine

That’s still fine

 

Climbing from the wreckage

I’m crawling at your feet

Looking for acceptance

A time for us to meet

 

But that’s fine

That’s still fine

You were…

 

Lovely in your misery

Lovely in your mind

Tell me that we’re meant to be

Tell me that you’re mine

 

At least this time

At least this time

 

Rising from the ashes

Looking for some hope

The past is left to fade

But it’s trying hard to cope

 

But that’s fine

That’s still fine

You were…

 

Lovely in your misery

Lovely in your mind

Tell me that we’re meant to be

Tell me that you’re mine

 

At least this time

At least this time

 

We never crossed that line

Your love was never mine

Oh love was never mine

This love was never mine

 

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Moving On

 

Is there anything to say?

That hasn’t all been said

You’ve been living in a past life

Now it’s living in your head

Every moment filled with silence

Only giving way to pain

As all of this defiance

It keeps driving you insane

 

When you think that all is gone

And it’s a struggle to be strong

If you’re waking up in sadness

You should start by moving on

 

Is there anything to do?

That hasn’t yet been done

You’ve been swimming in the moonlight

Now you’re waiting for the sun

From every revelation

That could bring you to this point

You’re fighting these temptations

By trying to call a coin

 

When you think that all is gone

And it’s a struggle to be strong

If you’re waking up in sadness

You should start by moving on

 

When it feels like all is wrong

As the darkness meets the dawn

If you’re waking up in sadness

You should start by moving on

You should start by moving on

 

You should start by moving on

You should start by moving on

 

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Joy

 

I feel the breeze blow through my hair

I say these things you wouldn’t dare

Like all these doubts were never there

It’s nice for a change

 

You look me up, take down my name

With somewhere new to spread the blame

This time I guess it’s not the same

It’s nice for a change

It’s nice for a change

 

Still your heart’s trapped in the past

Something never meant to last

Now I guess I find it strange

Is there time enough to change?

 

Everything’s okay and everyone’s alright

Love will get us through the day and sail us through the night

 

The stars are shining in the sky

I watch them blowout as they die

For once it’s not a cause to cry

It’s nice for a change

It’s nice for a change

 

Still your heart’s trapped in the past

Something never meant to last

Now I guess I find it strange

Is there time enough to change?

 

Everything’s okay and everyone’s alright

Love will get us through the day and sail us through the night

 

I’m sailing through the night

I’m sailing through the night

 

Been drifting off inside my head

With all this sorrow we’ve been fed

I think it’s time for joy instead

It’s time for a change

It’s time for a change

 

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