Sorry For The Mess

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When it comes to this next group of lyrics, it’s a bit hard to describe how I feel about them.

 

Written between 2003 and 2005, Sorry For The Mess turned into quite the ordeal. It didn’t help that I started on these lyrics immediately after Smokescreens for one. Still, it felt like I was on a creative high and seemed like the right thing to do. Unfortunately, it just let to more problems.

 

Beginning so quickly after Smokescreens’ completion, it was hard to differentiate the two projects. Not wanting to repeat myself, trying to break free from recent writing habits messed with my head. Going for something straightforward again, my eventual goal was to marry the heartfelt emotion from Smokescreens with some of the less abstract wording on Trial Of Errors. The only problem was that it was very challenging after going so hard in a different direction.

 

Couple that with a massive bout of writer’s block and it was a recipe for disaster. Contrary to popular belief, this doesn’t automatically mean you lack the ability to write something either. In my case, I just wrote tons of lyrics and wasn’t satisfied with any of them. The more I wrote, the more frustrating and daunting it became to continue: When you think everything you write is garbage, the pressure to write something good becomes enormous. It just compounded my issues and led to a lot of self-doubt.

 

Halfway through writing the grouping, I actually thought I was done. When this happens, I’ll take a couple of months away from the entire thing and then come back with “fresh eyes.” This allows me to be sure of what I’m putting out there or make some final changes before I do (it’s a practice that may have started with these lyrics actually.)

 

After coming back to these in 2004 however, I quickly realized they weren’t ready and took everything out of contention. Needless to say, this was very frustrating and didn’t help my confidence whatsoever.

 

With so much material, it became impossible to tell what was good or bad anymore. A friend from high school who actually writes music looked at some stuff and it helped a lot though. From there, I was able to sift through everything and eventually decided on a running order for the grouping.

 

Still, the story doesn’t end there. What you’re reading below is what I consider to be the final version of Sorry For The Mess. It wasn’t finalized until being put up on this website and has been tweaked considerably since 2005. Some stuff was cut from the original version while other things that were originally cut got added in the end. It’s definitely been the most difficult thing I’ve ever tried to finish, but it got there… eventually.

 

When it comes to my favourites, there are surprisingly quite a few. These include All Together, On The Spot, Open Season, Nothing Left To Lose, Another Day and Chloroform. Hilariously enough, the latter wasn’t even included on the original version of the grouping.

 

Finally, I came up with the title for this entire thing while in the hospital. In January 2005, I was admitted with pneumonia and knocked a bunch of shit off my dining table one day. When the nurse came to clean it up, I apologized by saying “sorry for the mess.” After she left, I thought it’d be a great title since the entire writing process for these lyrics had been such a fiasco. So it’s kind of a meta joke in a way.

 

For those interested, you can check out the (inferior) original lyrics of Sorry For The Mess in the Fireteddy National Library. Additional lyrics that didn’t make the cut can also be found here.

 

Lyrics Content

 

01. All Together

02. On The Spot

03. Far Behind

04. Standing Defeated

05. Argument

06. Out Of Touch

07. Open Season

08. Repeat This Lullaby

09. Nothing Left To Lose

10. Another Day

11. Chloroform

 

All Together

 

Here we are again

My one and only friend

As past mistakes collide

Another year subsides

 

Strangers when we met

Corrupted by regret

So this is where it starts

All together, fall apart

 

Stumbling through our dreams

While bursting at the seams

The wounds will be erased

In time to be replaced

 

It’s only simple math

That cuts down every path

So this is where it starts

All together, fall apart

All together, fall apart

 

This is who you are

You never venture very far

Always on a star

To wash away these scars

 

This is who we are

We never venture very far

Always on a star

To wash away our scars

To wash away our scars

 

So this is where it starts

All together, fall apart

 

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On The Spot

 

She stares me down from across the room

Takes her time while my mind’s consumed

It’s Hard to think, much less hard to breathe

Her swaying hips made like nicotine

 

Walking in, destination fixed

With pale white skin and blood red lips

Midnight hair and cold blue eyes

My heart rate climbs when she comes inside

 

She’s in my veins and I’m going down fast now

A moth to flame, yeah I’ve lost control somehow

On the spot, well she has me on the ground

But I’m too dumb not to stick around

 

She steps inside, ready for the kill

While lightning flashes from her needle chill

An acid trip as temptation strains

Bones still aching when she calls my name

 

She’s in my veins and I’m going down fast now

A moth to flame, yeah I’ve lost control somehow

On the spot, well she has me on the ground

But I’m too dumb not to stick around

I’m too dumb not to stick around

 

In the morning I’m still lying here

Soaked in sweat, only bound by fear

Though she’s gone, I’m still paralyzed

Catatonic and I’ve lost my mind

 

She’s in my veins and I’m going down fast now

A moth to flame, yeah I’ve lost control somehow

On the spot, well she has me on the ground

But I’m too dumb not to stick around

 

I’m too dumb not to stick around

I’m too dumb not to stick around

 

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Far Behind

 

For the first time I remember

I saw stars out in September

I was basking in the moonlight

As my thoughts began to lose sight

 

I was laying on the front lawn

When the daylight here was long gone

While my thoughts began to quicken

Pretty soon the plot would thicken

 

Why did I waste my time?

I dared to cross that line

But now it’s far behind

Now it’s far behind

 

As we moved into October

With the devil on our shoulders

From the stories we’d created

Reproduced and fabricated

 

Was it something in the air then?

That would leave us unprepared when

We would finally meet our ending

In the fall to stop pretending

 

Why did I waste my time?

I dared to cross that line

But now it’s far behind

Now it’s far behind

 

I could see it in the way you smiled

You left me here alone in my denial

With all the chances I refused to take

Bad habits that I couldn’t break

 

Porcelain skin and heart of stone

You left me hanging by the telephone

It’s my mistake because this love was fake

Now I’m forsaking it, forsaking it today

 

Why did I waste my time?

I dared to cross that line

But now it’s far behind

Now it’s far behind

 

Well now it’s far behind

Now it’s far behind

 

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Standing Defeated

 

Charged to be running

With a beauty so stunning

A prisoner shackled in chains, it’s all the same

 

Waking up shaking

With this force overtaking

As the sympathy’s starting to wane, it’s in my brain

 

But that was the problem, When it seemed we had lost ’em

That’s when we both grew apart

 

A chance we could take, a habit to break

A mistake we ignored from the start

 

So here I stand and I’m defeated

The cycle’s abused and the pattern’s repeated

While I’m not waiting, maybe I’m shaking

Standing defeated as slowly she’s fading

 

Down until she’s out

Down until she’s out

 

From her dreams she awakens

Still startled and shaken

As a voice filters in through her mind, A valentine

 

My reputation’s been altered

Because my silence insults her

She says that it’s harder to find, we’ve crossed the line

 

So as my conscience protests, a heavy weight on my chest

Is in place of where she rested her head

 

They said it was love, shooting stars up above

But now they’re all shooting it dead

 

So here I stand and I’m defeated

The cycle’s abused and the pattern’s repeated

While I’m not waiting, maybe I’m shaking

Standing defeated as slowly she’s fading

 

Down until she’s out

Down until she’s out

 

I wanted to get there

But now it’s too late

No reasons to struggle

So I’ll stay in my place

 

Maybe she’s leaving

Or maybe she’ll stay

I’ll never know

I’ll never know

 

So here I stand and I’m defeated

The cycle’s abused and the pattern’s repeated

While I’m not waiting, maybe I’m shaking

Standing defeated as slowly she’s fading

 

Down until she’s out

Down until she’s out

Down until she’s out

Down until she’s out

 

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Argument

 

This is where it ends

Good friends, I guess that it depends

We’re holding onto sinking ships

Tight grips until you slip again

Maybe in our aftermath

The path still helped with your relapse

A bandage that you bought

For naught, exhausted once again

 

Heart in your hand

To watch it all collapse

 

Do I understand?

Exactly what you meant

I guess there’s some dissent

It’s just an argument again

 

Now I’m not so sure

Which way it could’ve went

I guess there’s some dissent

It’s just an argument again

 

This is how it starts

A heart to slowly come apart

But maybe if we just stood still

The hills would lead us to the stars

Strangers in a fake disguise

To hide beneath our last demise

From every single thing you said

You fed for me to be misled

 

Heart in your hand

Where mine should be instead

 

Do I understand?

Exactly what you meant

I guess there’s some dissent

It’s just an argument again

 

Now I’m not so sure

Which way it could’ve went

I guess there’s some dissent

It’s just an argument again

 

Nobody knows a thing

What a bright one, it’s so promising

It’s at the point where I can’t see

But I still know what you mean to me

 

Do I understand?

Exactly what you meant

I guess there’s some dissent

It’s just an argument again

 

Now I’m not so sure

Which way it could’ve went

I guess there’s some dissent

It’s just an argument again

 

It’s just an argument again

It’s just an argument again

 

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Out Of Touch

 

The last few months of silence

With nothing in between

Sell yourself for a piece of it

Or sit and just recede

 

Waking up at midnight

With decaying thoughts of sleep

I would sell it off for slumber

But I want you next to me

 

I don’t go outside, no I don’t talk that much

I barely use the telephone, conversation’s a crutch

I’m out of touch, I’m out of touch

 

While the year was slowly crawling

Now it’s grinding to a stop

Maybe things will turn around soon

Or just fall off from the shock

 

Waiting on some changes

For the things that never come

I hold my breath and count to ten

Until I just feel numb

 

I don’t go outside, no I don’t talk that much

I barely use the telephone, conversation’s a crutch

I’m out of touch, I’m out of touch

 

Nothing’s all that different

But nothing’s quite the same

I’m standing by the window

To see you walk away

 

See you walk away

See you walk away

 

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Open Season

 

I’ve got my reservations

You say there’s nothing wrong

It’s all so complicated

But still you move along

I think that you’re mistaken

These things just get so strange

Forgotten and forsaken

Forsaking every change

 

I’d like to be with you

Fall back, now what to do?

You’re only someone new

To mess me up again

Mess me up again

 

Mistook this love for lusting

You don’t know what I need

In you a heart so trusting

I hold my heart to bleed

They’re all so parasitic

Force-fed on what I say

Still struggling to admit it

I think I’ve lost my way

 

I’d like to be with you

Fall back, now what to do?

You’re only someone new

To mess me up again

Mess me up again

 

So now it’s open season

Take a shot, you don’t need a reason

You know they say that seeing is believing

 

You don’t need a reason

Don’t need a reason

Don’t need a reason

Don’t need a reason

 

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Repeat This Lullaby

 

I wonder when I’ll hear your voice

You left me here without a choice

Now All I get is static

With a little bit of noise

 

We’re so unsure of what to do

But maybe that’s all up to you

I’m fading into winter

As my lips start turning blue

 

Well no one seems to have it worse

Than you and so you’ll have to curse

This night lit up with your goodbyes

But if you stopped then we could try

 

Some shadows creep across the day

It makes no difference anyway

Sheltered from our darkest nights

In so many shades of grey

 

Now maybe somewhere in the past

When all the leading roles were cast

Born to be Shakespearean

You could hide behind a mask

 

Well no one seems to have it worse

Than you and so you’ll have to curse

This night lit up with your goodbyes

But if you stopped then we could try

To repeat this lullaby

Repeat this lullaby

 

So if nothing were the same

Would you still call out my name?

All alone, the telephone

It never rings, it never rings

 

Well no one seems to have it worse

Than you and so you’ll have to curse

This night lit up with your goodbyes

But if you stopped then we could try

To repeat this lullaby

Repeat this lullaby

 

Repeat this lullaby

Repeat this lullaby

 

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Nothing Left To Lose

 

One day you will see

Inside your destinies

Inside you they’ll unfold

And in that moment you will know

 

When hell starts breaking loose

I’ll be waiting there for you

As this static overflows

That’s when you will know

 

It wasn’t easy letting go

Was it easy letting go?

 

One day in the fire

With your shadows and desires

With nothing left to show

That’s when you will know

 

One day you will call

I’ll build you suburbs and the mall

These distances will grow

And in that moment you will know

 

It wasn’t easy letting go

Was it easy letting go?

 

The intentions get confused

All misguided and abused

Now there’s nothing left to lose

 

It’s all we ever do

It’s all we ever do

It’s all we ever do

It’s all we ever…

 

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Another Day

 

You feed me lovely lines

It’s happened ’bout 6 times

Your voice can’t change the fact

There’s no way I’ll be back

 

Not wanting this is fine

But now you’re wasting time

This wish could never be

It’s all just fantasy

 

I’d really like to call you

But there’s nothing much to say

I’d like to think I’m through with you

But my thoughts get in the way

 

Can’t it wait another day?

Can’t it wait another day?

 

In fear of hurting me

It seems you couldn’t see

There’s damage that you’ve done

So now I’m set to run

 

Well maybe that’s okay

Some feelings fade away

I’m standing in the rain

But why should I complain?

 

I’d really like to call you

But there’s nothing much to say

I’d like to think I’m through with you

But my thoughts get in the way

 

Can’t it wait another day?

Can’t it wait another day?

 

You feed me lovely lines

It’s happened ’bout 6 times

Your voice can’t change the fact

There’s no way I’ll be back

 

Although it might be tough

I’ve been here long enough

I know that I can’t stay

Why wait another day?

 

I know that I can’t stay

Why wait another day?

 

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Chloroform

 

Every time I drive away

This sunset fades to yesterday

While every cycling thunderstorm

Arrives with rain like chloroform

 

Coming down with fractured sleep

For scattered secrets left to keep

The sun, the moon, the stars for you

Drifting off and out of view

 

If tonight I don’t feel something

In the morning I’ll be gone

Imperfect places for imperfect lives

But now it won’t be long

Now it won’t be long

 

Retracing steps beneath the moon

Some stars could lead me back to you

But past obstructions still remain

These midnight clouds revealing rain

 

As winding roads and interstates

Cause complex hearts to grow irate

They’re overworked and built to flood

All drowning with what can’t be won

 

If tonight I don’t feel something

In the morning I’ll be gone

Imperfect places for imperfect lives

But now it won’t be long

Now it won’t be long

 

Now it won’t be long

I swear it won’t be long

 

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