Birthday Candles

Awhile back, I talked about a group that would focus specifically on winter 2001.

While I hadn’t committed to it fully, Weezer had also inspired exploring a seasonal release of mini lyrical groupings. Although their SZNZ EPs have featured seven songs on the first day of every season, mine would consist of five pieces each. I’ve since fleshed out the idea a bit further and have written a few things. So far I’ve largely finished one piece for spring, two for summer with another almost at the same stage, one or two for autumn and two for winter with another idea that I feel very strongly about.

I’m still not entirely committed to the overall theme, but it’s been an interesting exercise. When writing lyrics, I find my work turns out a lot stronger if there’s something tying a group of them together. That way I’m telling more stories in the micro that add to something in the macro. It just gives me a sense of direction and helps to drive everything forward.

So anyway, the lyrics below are kind of a proof of concept. I’d chosen 2001 because of how much my life changed that year. I went blind in the fall, not long after 9-11 and it’s also when my social life became more active… then died when I was ill for the last third of the year. The last four months especially are a period of time I have generally not written about in great detail before.

Birthday Candles is something that’s literally been written over the last 24 hours or so. Its first stanza popped in my head during breakfast yesterday and I left to quickly type it out on my computer. I’ve fleshed out the rest here and there since then but with it being so new, there’s a good chance this won’t be the final version. If I do the seasonal release idea though, this would be the first thing on winter. (My birthday is December 21, hence the title.)

Lyrics

Blow out these candles

Now what do you see?

Shrouded in darkness

How bad could it be?

Lost without vision

Or maybe it’s just me

Count on each finger

I’ve crawled to nineteen

Nursing this bottle

So light on my feet

Blind without vision

Or is it pent up grief?

Give me a sign, I keep finding it so hard to handle

There’s heat on my face, I can’t hide my disgrace,, I’m in shambles

I’m in shambles, birthday candles…

Basement parties, they’re all departing and then

Left collapsing, there’s no reactions that land

Body broken, some words once spoken but panned

Rhetorical questions without intervention

I’m so apprehensive to stand

Blinded without vision

It’s slipping through my hands